if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
