Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
