Do you still have your period?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
