i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
