i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
