If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
