dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
