There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
