this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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