God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
