Me too!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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