Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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