is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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