So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
