i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
