whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
