Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
