I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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