Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
