He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When did angry sex become our thing?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
