I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The adults are the big ones right?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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