His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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