I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize