I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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