After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize