im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
