i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
