I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
