Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize