it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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