he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
