I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
how drunk are you?
Several
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
