take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
