i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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