Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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