Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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