you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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