you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
