I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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