thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
