Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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