Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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