i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
