Jerry, you need to find god
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
