You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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