I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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