The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
