amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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