It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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