I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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