one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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