btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
