his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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