We're facebook friends in real life
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
