lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
