How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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