just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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