I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize