I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
