they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
