Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
