whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think your dad took our porno
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
