Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
