it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
