new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
