We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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